Thursday, December 31, 2009

And the new baby is a....

I went in for a quick ultrasound yesterday after my doc appointment. Sadly, Shane wasn't able to be there. Sucky thing with his job: he cant really just get off early, unless its an emergency. But I did have my friend Penny there with me. Well, the doc put the dopplar on my stomach and right away we were in the right spot. I saw what the baby was with no prob, but he went on explaining all the body parts we were seeing. My doc is a really nice guy who gets very excited about finding out the gender, almost as excited as you are. It makes it more fun.
Well, right when he pointed between the legs and announced. "And that is a ... BOY..." the baby spread its legs WAY out and made sure we could really see that he was a little boy, right on cue. Yup everyone. We are having another little:


And right after we saw that, we saw the little guy start to pee. I know, that sounds weird...but it was cool to see. A little stream going out for a bit, then stopping. It was just cool...seeing my baby not only there, but already functioning and living.

I have to admit, I was sad. Shane and I were both really hoping for our little girl. Its funny. All growing up I just had this feeling like I would have daughters. It was never a question in my mind that I would. Now I am having my second son. I guess thats proof that things don't always go as you are so sure they will...but yes, we ARE excited. For one...we get to save a heck of a lot of money on clothes. There are only a few things we are needing for this second kiddo, all of which are on my baby registry if you are curious (Mainly a new breast bump since my first one got lost...a pack and play...lots and lots of diapers...a new play gym since ours was old and deplete...and yeah.)

But for two...I do love our little boy. Rylend is such an amazing kid, so full of happiness and love. I am very excited to have another sweet little one like him. And now he gets that brother every boy loves having. My family was the same way: two boys then me. And my brothers were always close growing up. So this will be another great adventure.

My belly is poking out more. Rylend laughs at it when he sees it, then lifts up his own shirt to show off HIS belly. Such a funny kid...
Now we are onto the project of picking a name...we have a few we are kind liking. We have a few months left though to really decide. Haha we shall see...
Ok, thats it for this post! Here are all the pics from yesterday! ENJOY!!!!!


This was when he spread his legs all wide. Haha

You might not be able to see it too well, but he is looking right at the camera in this one. His face is on the left. there are two dark circles for his eyes, a white bump where his nose is, and then a dark circle under. His mouth was open. Aw...I love it.

His little profile. Sadly, it blurred a bit. Maybe we will get a better one next time.

You can see one arm, then his fingers of the other hand above it. He was running his fingers around in the fluid. It was cute.

These are both pics of my belly I took yesterday just before my doc appt. 17.5 weeks along. ooo

And here is the link to our registry. Any help would be VERY nice, but please, money is tight. If you cant get us anything, do not stress about it. We will make due!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Here comes Santa Clause!

We went yesterday (saturday) to see Santa. My friend Jessie was visiting for the weekend with her hubby Ian and little girl Theresa (T is 6 months younger than Rylend). We thought it would be fun to all see Santa together. So after breakfast we bundled everyone up and headed over to the Cedar Hills mall. such a little boy. He saw the OTHER kids running around, so just HAD to do that himself. And when we wouldn't let him run amok and tear everything apart...the world ended and the temper tantrums broke out. Oh finally got to the point where I walked around the mall with Rylend as Shane stood in line with our friends. After walking for some time, a very wet diaper change, and more angry "Im not getting my way" was our turn to see Santa.

I was pretty nervous he would be a little hellion for the man. Last year we got such a cute pic...and I thought for sure this year it would be the red faced anger snapshot.

But, AMAZINGLY, right as we walked up to Santa, Rylend smiled and got super sweet. He said hi, then we put him in Santa's lap and stepped back for the pics. Rylend flashed his teeth, said "CHEESE!", giggled, smiled at Santa...even blew him kisses as we walked away. Then, as soon as we were out of Santa's sight...the boy went nuts again. One old man smiled and I heard him say "That kid is ALL boy!" I think Rylend sensed that Santa is the man you have to be good for...dont want to be on THAT naughty list! It was pretty cute...though I was pretty worn out after!

Christmas is here in a few days! Rylend keeps eyeing the few presents we do have out...I cant wait! Ok, here are the pics! :)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Belated Updates of all the Happenings

Have I really not posted anything since October? Ok everyone, here's my hand...slap away.

Alright! So, since the last update...
Things are going ok for us. I am JUST not feeling sick now. Its got pretty bad for a while...I was losing weight instead of gaining. Ouch. Then I got my prescription for Zofran...and the world got a bit better. Its an anti-nausea medication, for those of you who dont its a magic one too. Haha. I am just going off it now...been a week since I have had to take it and no escapades of dashing to bathroom. I do feel woozy still...but I can handle it...mostly. And as for the exhaustion...yeah still waiting for that to go away. This pregnancy is SO different from Rylend's. I can barely get myself up for the sucks. On some plus sides: I am now showing of a tiny little bumpy. I will post one I took at 13 weeks...I am now almost 15 weeks and its more obvious but I am too lazy to go take the pic at the moment. Also, just before Thanksgiving I had a doc appointment. I got to hear the heartbeat! I love those was at 160. Fast little one! My doc told me that at our next appointment (Dec 30th) if the ultrasound isn't being used, we can sneak in and try to see the gender. YAY!!

Other, non-preggo related topics.

We have all of our Christmas decorations up...we did it a few days before Thanksgiving. I will admit...I suck at waiting. I just love how they look! If it wasnt so weird, I would leave them up all year long. Rylend thinks the tree is the most pretty thing ever. Every morning when he comes out of his room he waits for me to turn on the lights, then gets all excited and says "oooo wow! PETTY!" He loves to lay next to the tree or under it and just stare at all the lights and ornaments...its so cute!

We are stressing right now, gotta admit it. For some reason, no matter how hard we try, every december we are always broke. We have been SO careful with our spending! We dont even KNOW where the money goes...Just bills and groceries. I checked our banking today...They just took out power, rent, and car insurance....leaving us with a grand total of $48. And Shane doesnt get paid again until the 17th. Hmm...oh yes, and we are out of diapers and wipes. And groceries. Oh, and havent gotten one present for my little boy's christmas... I got WIC this last week, which does help a little. But I do think we will be having to apply for Stamps...hoping that Oregon wont suck for once and will approve us. And REALLY hoping no mystery bills or emergencies come up in the next week and a half...we have no money for any of it. I hate this rut. And we never seem able to get out of it. Then to top it all off...we are having another little one. Yes, we ARE excited. But nervous like nothing else. If we can BARELY scrape by as will we afford even more? I don't know...I think I am just venting. And I am VERY impressed if you are still reading at this point. Sometimes it just feels good to vent. We have been weighing our options...looking at maybe some big changes we will have to make...but that's in the future to come. For now I sadly pull out my credit card which I am trying to pay OFF...and go get ready to walk to the store and buy diapers. Its the song that never ends....



Life is stressful. Whats new. But Rylend is so good at curling up in mommy's lap and cuddling. Really good at kisses too. And you should see his face light up when Daddy comes home and he runs and jumps into his arms. He is good at making us smile...which we need bad at the moment.

Ok, gotta run. Gonna bundle up to brave the cold cold cold weather and walk down the block. Wish me luck!

Friday, October 16, 2009

And the due date is...

We went to get an ultrasound yesterday in order to get a more accurate due date. Well, the official due date now is:

June 4, 2010

The baby is a very cute little blob on the screen. I kept saying "Oh, what a cute blob" which kept the ultrasound technician laughing. She was very impressed though. At only about 7 weeks along, the baby already has a VERY strong little heart beat going. Which doesn't fully surprise me. This baby is spending all of its time and energy making mommy sick. I literally cannot touch food until afternoon every day. I try to force myself to nibble on saltenes and drink ice water. It helps a little...but I still find myself running to the oh-so-beloved bathroom much more than I would prefer. This is already VERY different than how it was with Rylend! They gave me a prescription for a med that helps with the sickness. I'm just trying to decide if I want to go get it and try it...I get paranoid about things. Though I HAVE found...peppermint chewing gum is my friend. Though it doesn't eliminate the queasiness, it makes it so I can at least move around and look a bit alive for my little boy. Sigh...I am very ready for this first trimester to be done...and hoping the nausea goes with it.

Im posting the two print outs they gave us from the ultrasound. Like a said...a very cute little Blob. Even though it doesn't look fully like baby was still amazing to see. Nothing solidifies the realness of a pregnancy like seeing the little person. I will also post a link to the site babycenter and a page that talks about the week I am on...for anyone who is curious.

Hope all is well for everyone! I will go back now to chomping my gum. :)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The News!

Hey there everyone! In case any of you HAVEN'T heard yet...We are expecting again! Yup!!

I had been feeling off for a week or two. Then got a cold last weekend that for some reason wouldn't leave. Shane kept teasing me, telling me that I was pregnant. I just brushed it off...until my lovely time of the month never came. I still had my doubts...mainly I didnt want to convince myself that I was, then take a test that said no. My breasts had been hurting...and a few days after missing my period, I started feeling sick. So I finally gave in and took the test friday morning (Oct. 2) and...a lovely little blue plus sign! Yeah...when I called Shane, his first thing he said was "Told you so." Since then, I took one more test...for save measures lol. Then saturday morning we drove over to Planned Parenthood and got the confirmation test. I called yesterday and set my first doctor's visit (Oct. 26th) and an ultrasound (Oct. 15th). We need the ultrasound because we arent fully sure when the due date is...but Im not complaining. I get a little sneak peek at the BABY! answer obvious questions...No, we were not trying. We were talking about maybe starting...but obviously someone up there had different plans for us. We are very much so hoping for a little girl...whenever I ask Rylend if he wants a brother or sister, he just looks up at me and shakes his head....haha "no dont need any more!" I am very nervous about being a mommy of two. Rylend will just turn two before his future sibling is born...thats pretty close in age! And as for NOT ready there! Then again...who EVER is? We are very excited though. I am already seeing the difference in this pregnancy compared to Rylend's. I am only in my first trimester, and am tired ALL the time. And this time...I am actually getting the "lovely" morning sickness I "missed" out on with Rylend.

I will make sure to try to update here whenever there is new news, pics, anything. I know I have been bad lately with my blog updates...maybe this will kickstart me back into it! :)

Monday, September 21, 2009

Family is Forever

This last sunday we actually made it to church. I know I know. Having just one kid isn't an excuse. It has just been hard for us to go to church every sunday, when we spend about 90% of the time in the halls with the kiddo. The main reason we went this last sunday was because Brother Coakley called and asked me to give opening prayer in our sunday school class. I am happy he did.
I spend basically all of sacrament meeting (first hour) out in the hall with Rylend. He was able to sit still long enough for us three to take the sacrament, but then very quickly got VERY bored. So I went to to the usual laps. Another mom with her little girl was out there too. Rylend and Brooklyn became friends very fast (she is 16 months, he is almost 18 months) and soon her mommy Courtney and I were walking and talking together as the two little tykes explored the halls together. It was pretty cute. Rylend would randomly sprawl out on the ground on his back and Brooklyn would walk over and crouch next to him, patting his tummy or rubbing his hair. He would smile, then spring up and they would run again.
At one point though...while taking a break on the couch...Rylend saw the fire alarm. They have a plastic cover over them to prevent them from being pulled too easy and...well..Rylend must have decided that the cover just had to go. Before I could stop him, he reached over and knocked it off. The cover has ana alarm...much like a car it started peeping away. I snatched Rylend up and was just thinking "Oh, you gotta be kidding me!" Luckily our friend David Lloyd came out and made it stop for us, and just gave us a smile. My kid...
Well, halfway through sunday school (yes, after I said the opening prayer) we decided we would duck out and see if we could maybe slip Rylend into nursery a few weeks early. They very happily accepted him and as we opened the door for him to go in, he smilied and booked it in, instantly running for another little boy he knows (my visitng teacher's 2 year old son Tane). It was wayyy nice to be able to just sit next to Shane the rest of sunday school and...LISTEN! Oh my! On my way to Relief Society I decided to peek in and see how Rylend was doing. He was sprawled out on his belly on the floor, Brooklyn cuddled up next to him, and they were happily playing with some toys together. It was too cute. After church when I went to get him, he was cuddled up to Sister Sellers (his teacher) and looked pretty content. Then he saw me. His eyes got all huge and water, and he quickly stood up and ran towards me, arms out, saying "Momma!!" It made my day. They told me he did awesome, only got a bit teary eyed in the last ten or so minutes. I was so proud of him. My little boy is now in nursery. AWW

In Relief Society they were talking about doing temple work for your ancestors. I was listening, but found my mind drifting to other thoughts. As most of you know, my family converted to the church when I was a little kid. Im not one of those born and bred mormons, like it seems most are. When I was about 9 or so, my family went to the temple to get sealed together. I remember feeling so special, because most other kids my age didnt get to go to the temple, and here I was, not only going in, but going up to a sealing room too. Its hard to have spiritual experiences at that age. I remember my parents dropping us off in the kid care area while they went to do their thing. My brothers and I did our usual bickering, though we did try to be more reverent about it (as if that is possible). Sitting in Relief Society yesterday, I looked back on that day and realized there were moments that made more of an impact on me than I had realized.
One of the moments was a little girl that was there. Oh man, she was energetic. And not happy to be kept in the kids area. I think she was about two or so. She was all over the place, throwing toys and crying and making noise. Finally one of the temple matrons came to get her and bring her to her parents. Her family was getting sealed that day too. I remember wondering what they would do with her and her noisiness. In the temple, you are supposed to be quiet and reverent. Its a very peaceful place. Well, later the matron who was taking care of us told us what had happened. The little girl had made noise all the way up to the sealing room. Yet as soon as they opened the door, she quieted down. They handed her to her parents, who were kneeling together at the alter. Very quietly, and without anyone telling her to, the little girl reached out and placed her small hand on top of her parents'. Something had calmed her. The little girl knew that at that moment, it was time to be reverent. I truly believe little children can feel and hear the Spirit stronger than we adults can. Moments like this shine that true.
Another moment. There was a little boy waiting in the room with us also. He was maybe a year old. This boy...He had a heart defect. His skin had a blue tinge to it. His family was getting sealed to him before they knew he would pass, which could be any day. I remember looking at him across the room. A matron was holding him, showing him toys. She saw me watching, and asked if I wanted to come play with him. I walked over and reached out to hold his tiny hand. It was ice cold. Even at 9 years old, I remember feeling my heart break for this little boy and his family. It wasn't fair that he was barely even a year old and was facing death so soon. My brothers held his hand too. A few moments later a matron came to pick him up and bring him to his family. To this day I still remember his name: Benjamin. I never found out what happened to him. But for some reason, a few days after our temple day, I always felt like someone had told me he had passed. I know my parents didnt. And no one from the temple would have. But in my heart, I was always so sure that someone had told me that Benjamin, just a few day after being sealed to his parents, had passed from this life. I felt sad, but I was always comforted, knowing that one of the last things he did was be sealed to his family for time.
I remember finally going up to our parents. Walking in my stocking feet down the hallways of the temple, taking a quiet elevator ride up, the matron smiling at us. I remember waiting outside the room, looking out the window at the temple grounds below. I can still point out which window it was that I looked out that day. Then they opened the door, and let us in. My Dad always jokes about my mom was able to hold it together the whole day until she saw us three enter that room. Tears started to stream down her face, and my dad's eyes glistened. We knelt at the alter with my parents, placing our hands on top of theirs, and were sealed together as a family for time. I remember feeling the peace of that day, but not understanding it fully.
Looking back now, at all the moments of that day, I finally do understand. We all pray for God to send us moments, to touch us with His presence. And we never realize how often He truly does do that. I remember the little girl, who felt the Spirit so strong, even in her youth, that she quieted down and let it fill the room. I remember Benjamin. A boy that in our minds was being taken before his time. And his family knew they needed to be sealed to him before he left. I can imagine the joy in their hearts as he sat at the alter with them, his tiny cold hand held in theirs, as they were promised that though this life may end, he will always be with them. Always. And though my brothers and I faced no life theatening illnesses, the tears on my mom's face as she saw her three children enter the room, dressed in white, shows she too felt the same thing.
This life is a precious thing. We spend much of our time struggling for money, for bills, for the small things we think are so important yet really mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. In all reality, kneeling across the alter with your love and your children, knowing that no matter what may happen in this life, you will NEVER lose eachother in the eternities to come...THAT is what life is about. I have been thinking about this alot today. I have been watching my little boy play. And I find myself with tears in my eyes, knowing that I will never lose him. That he is sealed to this family that Shane and I have created. And though life may be hard. Though he might stray, he might grow distant from us and lose his way, that in the end we will all be waiting to embrace and comfort. Family is a bond that cannot be broken. Maybe it will look weakened at times, but it can never disappear. I am so happy that I sa tin Relief Society and let my mind wander back to memories I do not touch on often enough. They seemed to simple when they happened. But years later...thats when I needed the memories of those moments to touch my mind again. God truly does work in a very mysterious way. But if we do listen, He does answer.
I love my family. I may live far from them and may not talk to them enough. But they are my family. We have our great memories, our bitter ones, and everything in between, but I would never trade any of them. Each memory, each moment, has made me who I am today. I am proud of my parents for choosing this path, even though I know how hard it has been at times for them. There is no doubt how much they love their children, and looking back now at the memory of both of them kneeling at the alter, tears in eyes as they saw us enter the sealing room, I know how much I do love them.

Friday, June 12, 2009

He likes to.. MOVE IT!

Rylend may be a bit behind in the whole "walking stage"...but he is trying to catch up! We all joke its because he knows Brandon (Kandra's little boy) is visiting soon and Rylend wants to be able to keep up with him. The last few days Rylend, out of no where, has REALLY been trying to walk. I already posted a video of an attempt. His problem is its just TOO exciting for him, so he falls over all the time as he laughs.

Just yesterday I was sitting on the couch and Rylend was standing about five feet away with Shane. Out of nowhere...he just walked over to me all by himself! It was SOO CUTE! Of course, when those moments NEVER have the camera! He has been trying to walk by himself alot too...just standing, holding onto something...then he lets go and takes a few steps. Funny thing is, every time he does, he EXPECTS an applause. He will start clapping and look around to who ever is in the room. If you dont clap and say "Yay!" you are in trouble. Ha!

Well, today he has been REALLY working on it. I decided to take a chance at getting it on video. So as he was leaning up against the couch...I quickly backed up and hit record. And...he did it! Man he is SO CUTE! I love watching babies waddle around. Now MY baby boy is doing it. He already climbs on EVERYTHING and tears EVERYTHING apart (I think he likes to prove that he really is a boy) and I know as soon as he masters walking...we dont stand a chance. But at least then I can take him outside more and just let him get it out!

So here is the video!
YAY RYLEND! *claps*

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


We took Rylend to Build-A-Bear for the first time. As soon as we got there, he got super excited. And, of COURSE, chose a cat for his toy! It was so cute how even before the kitty was stuffed, he was just LOVING it.

He wouldnt take his eyes off of the lady who put the stuffing in his kitty. And as soon as she finished and handed it back to him, he wrapped his arms around it and flashed all of us the BIGGEST smile!

The rest of the time we were there, he would NOT let go of it. We officially named it "Zitty Zat" ...which got the guy at the check out to chuckle.

Rylend is now VERY much in love with that new kitty of his. He takes it to bed with him and giggles when I put his clothes on the kitty. This kid...Its crazy how out of nowhere they stop being babies and start being kids...

Rylend LOVED Build-A-Bear and we know we will have to go there doubt for yet another Zitty Zat.

ALSO...he is SO close to walking! We have been able to get him to take a few steps by himself here and there. He just gets wayyy too excited and ends up toppling over laughing. Then he claps for himself as we say "yay!" He is cruising along anything and everything though. And the last few days I have spent most of my time holding his hands as he walks all over the apartment. Here is a video of us trying to get him to walk one night. He does in the end...kind of. If can just see how dang cute he is!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Untitled Crowley Project - Promo Extra!

Guess what I did!
Well, to explain it first...I am a member of a site called Extras Only. Its a local casting agency that specializes just in casting extras for movies, commercials, photo shoots...anything really. I started it just for fun, since another friend of mine was doing it too. Well, they are filming a movie in Portland right now. At the moment it is just called the Untitled Crowley Project. And guess what...they do all their casting through Extras Only. Oo...

The movie is starring Harrison Ford, Brendan Frasier and Keri Russel. Its about a married couple (Frasier and Russel) who are trying to find a cure for their childrens' they team up with a doctor (Ford) to find it. Gonna be one of those tear jerkers I have a feeling! Anyway...I have gotten a few calls to be a PAID extra, but ended up not being needed for each as of yet. But they also needed promo extras...aka people to fill the gaps and who arent getting paid. There was a shoot last week at Pioneer Square in Portland, but I didnt go. This week was over at Oaks Park. I really needed to get out of the apartment and away from some of the things happening in my life right now (THATS for another blog another time!) So...I decided to go!

My sisters in law Tania and Sammy went too. The motto for the movie biz is "Hurry up and wait" and thats EXACTLY what we did. We arrived and checked in at 11:30, then they closed the gates for anyone else. There were probably a hundred or so promo extras...maybe a bit more. Then...we waited. They supplied water and cookies and chips...and for about 3 or so hours we sat in our holding area. Inside the skate rink across the park from us they were shooting a birthday scene with Frasier, Russel, and the kids. It was a nice day, occasionally drizzling but not bad enough to run for cover.

Finally around 4 or so they took pity on us and opened up the amusement park for our pleasure. Yay! We got to ride all the rides we wanted for free, and they gave us hot dogs. It was fun to just goof around with Tania and Sammy while watching how the movie biz works. Around 5 they finally told us it was time. They gave us our marks, our actions...and...ACTION! Us three were sitting on a table, told to gab about boys and check them out. Haha! Yet it was all supposed to be pantomime. They gave us some greasy, cold props EW. About twenty feet from us was Brendan Frasiers start mark. Sad to say, I doubt we will be caught in the film. There was a big tree in the way. But it was still cool to see the scene being shot. I took a few pics of him too...which...shh...we werent supposed to do. We were told very clearly not to talk to any actors or crew unless they talked to us. So no people, dont ask, I did not get any autographs. The crew was really nice and friendly though. And from what I could see of Frasier, he seemed like a nice guy too, which is nice to see in Hollywood.

Finally around 7 we were done. To be nice to the promo extras, they do a raffle afterwards and give out prizes. Sadly...we won nothing. Still though, it was an awesome day!

I have to say, its addicting. Even though I spent most of my time sitting...I can see why people do keep trying to get into the movie biz. Im thinking about activating my account to become a paying member. That means they open you up to even more casting opportunities. It could be fun...just gotta get my self-confidence to think so too! I am definitely going to go to any other calls that happen in the future. And even if you cant see me in the film when it comes out next can point to the tree in the amusement park as Frasier runs with the kids to the rollercoaster and say "HEY! Jenni is sitting behind that!"

Good times.

(A pic we took of me while waiting..I like it... Woo...)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Jenni misses...

Here is the first segment of Jenni misses. I figured every so often I should write something about just me. Rylend is definitely the center of my life and makes enough stories for me to write a book, but I realized that moms way more than they should end up totally forgetting themselves. Sometimes its good to at least just write about something the mommy likes or misses or did...Maybe it wont always be something I necessarily MISS...but here we go...



Ever since I was very very little I remember how much I love running. My family has two acres of property and during the nice weather I would literally just run in circles for fun. There was a grassy driveway down one side of the property and I remember racing my brother John up and down it. I couldnt wait until I was finally in middle school and got to join the track team.

My dad did track growing up. I remember him telling about the events and his memories of it and I would just sit there thinking "Wow! I cant wait!" I always ended up saying I wanted to do whatever my dad did. I wrote in first grade that when I grew up I wanted to be "an EMT, just like my dad." I know I really wanted to be a writer...but doing something like dad sounded so much cooler. Really though, even thugh the fact that he loved running helped, I truly did love it.

I joined softball in fourth grade. I really wasnt that good at it. I think it was more a competetive thing with my brother since he was a huge baseball addict. I couldnt throw right and barely ever caught the ball. But when my chance came to bat and I got to run around those bases, thats when I loved it. Other teams learned that I was the girl who would always try to steal a base. I would sprint as fast as I could. In fifth grade I quite softball and joined basketball. I wasnt as bad at that as I was at softball. I was decent at dribbling and stealing and even made a basket every so often. But my favorite thing? I bet you can it down that court, swerving in and out of the people for that little bouncing orange ball. I would dive for it, usually ending up with bruises and bloody noses.

I remember one time a friend of mine asked me to teach her to run. Ha! We were hanging out in front of the whale museum in town and she told me I was so good at it and wanted me to teach her. I think we were about nine. So we spent the rest of the time we had there running up and down the sidewalk, me "teaching" (like I knew what I was doing right? It was like "so stretch your legs as far as you can...stay on your toes, think of your ankles like springs, etc") and she running after me.

Finally the day came that I left the elementary school and entered the long awaited middle school. I joined volleyball that fall and loved it. I was the youngest setter on the team and actually did pretty decent. But all I could wait for what that spring. As spring drew closer, I found out something horrible.

Our middle school didnt have a track team!

I dont remember everything I did, but I wasnt happy. I had always been one of those kids who would write up petitions whenever I wasnt happy with something and get everyone who could write to add their signiature. Then I would wave it in front of my teachers rarely changed anything but I always had to get my point across. I remember writing one, saying that we needed our own track team. Then bringing it to the principal. Within a few weeks our science teacher had agreed to be the coach and we started our first practices. I was in heaven!

I couldnt get enough of it. I wanted to do every event and run run run. Yeah, I would complain sometimes. It was hard! But inside I loved every second of it. Through out middle school I looked forward to volleyball in the fall, theatre in the winter, and then the long awaited for spring and Track season. We were a small school with a new track team, so we only had about two meets a year. It mostly was a bunch of kids getting together and running. I slowly came to find some of my favorite events: Hurtles. 4x1 Relay. 400m dash. 1600m. Long jump. It was hard because we could only do four events. I would have to bounce back and fourth, the only one I constantly doing was 4x1.

Middle school ended. I entered high school. I quite volleyball, mostly out of fear that I wouldnt be good enough. I sike myself out alot and even ignored the fact that the high school volleyball coach had come to me asking that I join the team. I just chickened out. Sadly. But Theatre and Track...they never left me. My first year I qualified for Tri-Districts (one away from State) with three events: Long jump, 400m, and 4x1 relay. I was so nervous! I kept messing up my footing on long jump and ended up not placing high enough. I took off too fast for 400m and placed one spot below the qualifying spot for State. Then 4x1. We were doing amazing. Ahead of the pack. I ran third leg (hated that leg) and as I sprinted to the last hand-off, she took off her mark too late and I ran into her. We placed two spots too low. That year I also had my first break-up. I remember during PE the next day asking my teacher if I could just run. Of course he let me. I probably ran about nine or ten miles that class. I was burning and aching but I had just discovered what else running can do: heal.

In tenth grade I discovered a new love: Triple jump. We were having a home meet and there were only two other competitors. Our coach asked if anyone wanted to try it. As long as we didnt scratch, we would place and get points for the team and our lettering. A friend and mine and I decided to give it a shot. The judge at the pit gave us a quick lesson...and I placed first! There was one other girl on our team, a grade ahead of me, who had been doing triple for a while. She wasnt too happy. But I had just fallen in love with it. It quickly became my main event that I focused on. They would have to pry me away from the pit to practice relay or 400m. I would alternated between triple and long daily, flying through the air over and over. Sprinting down the line then leaping into the air and landing into the sandy pit. I loved it! I placed first at almost every meet after that. My distance got better and better and before long I had almost pre-qualified for State.

One practice I was trying to get past a mark I had been landing for too long. I just couldnt get it. We all played in the sand while others jumped, making sand castles and such. The girl that was jumping long before me, who I was now beating every time, was digging in the sand. I saw her digging, and should have looked closer at what she was doing. I went back to my starting spot, sprinted down the lane, hop skip jump...and landed in the whole she had dug right where I had been landing all day. She had dug it down to the hard dirt below. All I remember was screaming, feeling fire go up my leg, then falling over and blacking out. I opened my eyes to the team running to me and the girl begging me not to tell. Of course I did...she never showed up for practice again. Turns out she wanted to make my shin splints worse (I suffered from those non stop). But instead I twisted my right ankle and tore the cartelidge in my right knee.

You cant do much to fix knee injuries. I was heart broken. I was about to qualify for State. I couldnt run at all now. I kept showing up for practice. And they let me come on the meets to root everyone on. Bi-Districts rolled around...and I decided I would compete. I started practicing, trying to push through the pain. My knee was always wrapped tightly and IB Profen was a good friend. I remember that meet. I can picture that runway and pit and remember the pain as I tried to shoot down it. I didnt do horrible. Better than I thought I would. And my coach was proud of me. I was trying. I remember running and jumping into the air, tears filling my eyes, and landing, trying to put as much weight as I could onto my left leg. I didnt go onto Tris that year.

My knee never got back to how it was. in 11th grade I was back in track, but I couldnt push like I once did. I hated 4x1. Basically girls 4x1 is a popularity contest fill of bickering abckstabbing girls. And Coach always put me on it even though I told him I didnt want to. I had to deal with the girls, the attacking, the snide comments. Sigh. All I wanted to do was be at my pit. I did well that year...not AS well as before...but well. My senior year I didnt start track right away. I was busy with running start, planning my wedding, etc etc. But I got pulled back in. I couldnt resist it. Its like a drug haha. I did it for the love of running, not the competition. I did well, could have gone onto tris but decided not to.

I wish they had a track team for Addicted Graduates. You leave school, get handed your diploma and move into the "real" world, and all your passions you created those 12 years become ignored gems. Unless you have been accepted into a college for one of you talents, you end up losing them. Theatre, Track, Choir...what do you do when you dont have the afterschool announcements and Meets and scheduled field trips?

I stopped running.

I have decided something though. Just because I dont have the Meets and competition, why cant I still run? Like when I was younger, running around my family's property just for the sheer joy of it. The burn of the lungs. The strain in the legs. The quick breaths and pounding heart. Watching the world whiz by as you take step after step down the path. Not to mention is kick starts your metabolism and trims in those parts of your body ruined by such things as...pregnancy...

So I am running again. I mapped out an area in a neighborhood near us. It is about a mile there and a mile back, so a good two miles. Some hills, lots of sidewalk...quiet streets. I went running yesterday in the first time in who KNOWS how long. It was about 6 at night and had been hot all day. But a breeze kicked in right when I started. I couldnt run the entire time. Thats what you get for being out of shape. But I ran most of the way. I loved the fact that my legs throbbed and felt like Jell-o. I loved the sharp burn in my lungs and the sweat beading on my forehead. Running is one of the best therapies out there. Life is a headache, like nothing else. I am trying my hardest to raise a kid in a good home with the right morals and lots of happiness. He has a mind of his own and I am on my feet alot chasing him. We have bills and rarely enough money to pay them. In all senses we are poor. Friends are far and few between and family is far away. Its easy to feel alone and depressed and worn out. But putting on my running clothes (which I found out I need new ones. Especially shoes sigh) and letting the pavement take away my thoughts...I had forgotten how good it feels. I miss getting the metals of first place. The kudos and the slaps on the back and the news dont get those in real life.

But I feel good. Thats worth it.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Our trip to the Rock

So the other weekend we made it up to good old San Juan for a visit. Shane took of monday and we were able to visit for three days. It was nice. The island is one of those places that no matter how long you are gone, as soon as you step foot there it feels like you never left. We werent able to make it to see everyone we wanted to. Its kind of hard when you only have about 2 and a half days and you want to spend as much time with your fam as you can...while trying to make time too see your friends also.

On Saturday we went to the Children's fair. Its an interactive "fair" they do for the kids on the island...with classes about safety and such stuff. Rylend got to meet Officer McGruff for the first time and couldnt take his eyes off of him! He was like "WOW! Thats a BIG puppy!" We wandered around, saw some people, then found a cute mermaid booth and took his pic in that too. The hair tickled his face and he couldnt stop laughing! It was wayyy cute...

Saturday night we were able to get together with some of our friends. It was sooo nice seeing them again. I really wish they could visit us more too...but money is very tight I know. Still, we had fun chatting and remembering fun memories.

My dad babysat Rylend later and we were able to all go see Wolverine. It was a pretty good movie! I think I am biased though just because I think Hugh Jackman is very yummy...haha!
And look! A nice pic of just Shane and I (in line for the movie) I know...its rare. Mostly because I am usually in my pj messy hair getup and pics of Rylend are WAY cuter. But I do like this one.

Sunday was nice and relaxing. We just spent time with my family, went out to see my grandma, then relaxed. Its easy to forget exactly HOW cute my little nieces and nephew are...but as soon as I see them I remember VERY easy. Aly was all over me all weekend, giving me hugs and wanting to play with Rylend who is her "best buddy." After being shy at first, Breken was all about playing "BOO!" with "nenni nenni nenni" and shelby finally gave me a hug without me having to steal it.

On monday we tried to squeeze in a few more visits while spending time with my mom too (it was her day off yay!) It was sad to have to leave. I really do miss my family and friends on the Rock, alot. If I had the money (and patience for that car ride) I would be visiting WAY more often...but for now I guess blogging will have to do. Sigh...

The car ride home was LOOOONG. Traffic was bad and Rylend didnt like his seat anymore. He finally passed out for about an hour...but that was it. He basically didnt sleep all weekend and ended up getting a cold. We had an angry tired sick baby on our hands and he is still suffering from that dang runny nose! At a rest stop (we had to stop for a VERY stinky diaper) Rylend decided HE wanted to drive the was cute.

Overall it was a nice visit. I was VERY tired by the time we got home, but I had a ton of fun seeing everyone again. Till next time!! LOve you all!!